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born mistake

by Warrington

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1.
My room is full of old newspapers And books I'm told that I should read But I'll lay in bed, pretend to be dead But give up instead and watch TV Now I;'m late for work so I'll take the toll road To shave five minutes off my ride Give some shit excuse like "I lost my glasses" Man I'm fucking tired of having to lie Because I never used to, I always spoke true And stood my ground when I knew I was right Now I cower and creep from street to street Scuffing my shoes and dragging my feet Get off the couch and get some rest Take a shower, go to bed Then go to work, repay your debts It'll all be over once you're dead
2.
Walk Me Home 03:39
Low-hanging clouds Eyes to the ground Picking at the skin on your fingertips Another bad habit you get when I'm around Empty PBR case Old VHS tapes Movies from when I was young And didn't have to worry about my mental state So walk me home I don't want to be alone I'll tell you I've had too much to drink That I can't stand on my two feet But if you're truly listening You'll hear the tremble in my speech I am the shit under your shoe I am the web that you walked through I am the sweat dripped in your eye I am the long hard goodbye So walk me home I don't want to be alone
3.
We meet again 2am, another rerun of Roseanne It reminds me of when I was young and my family had a solid plan Now I'm watching the bags grow under my eyes And I think that I am beginning to like The way the grey suits my sunken frame But I'm gaining weight and losing speed Can't blame it on something like nicotine Because the chemicals can't cause it all And I tell myself that all I need is My car and guitar but I've got broken strings And a tank on "E" Ten dollars of gasoline won't get me Where I need to be Drunk off a lack of sleep and an overdose of caffeine Missing the feel of sheets barely placed between two bare bodies My heartburn and bad knees won't excuse the life I lead Drunk off a lack of sleep and an overdose of caffeine Missing the feel of sheets barely placed between two bare bodies Drunk off a lack of sleep and half a bottle of whiskey Missing the feel of sheets between
4.
One pillow, two heads Worlds apart in the same bed Blankets strewn across the cold dirty room Cover up the living dead What's the point in anything when I've lost my everything?
5.
I lost my grandfather's watch at the end of last year Wore it every day, I held it so dear I swear it's at your house and you're holding out But keep it because I don't want you ever coming around You have to lose somethings to gain what you need And I'd lose you every day with no guarantee Of having anything returned back to me Because everything you touch turns to black coal My body, my mind, my heart, and my soul I lost my grandfather's watch at the end of last year And I'd lose it again if you'd disappear I loved my grandfather's watch, I held it so dear But I'd lose it again if you'd disappear Somehow I have myself only to blame Trained to associate guilt with my pain But we both need to learn our place
6.
If You could come back for just one day I'd have so many things that I would need to say I'd start by asking if heaven was a real place Or something fake made up to get me through the day If you could come back for just one hour We'd sit and talk about how different things now are And I would fit in one million apologoes And try not to mention how your ghost still haunts me If you could come back for just a minute or two I'd do anything, anything to get through to you And try to find out if you're okay with How I fucked up everything in the end
7.
L.J.H. 03:41
What's your favorite liquor? Is it cheaper in bulk? We'll buy as many bottles as we need to talk I know it's been a while and if you let me I'll explain I've got a long list of how we're both to blame Well first things first it's been a hell of a year I've lost more than I've gained and mostly gained fear I'm scared of what I've done I'm scared of what I'll do I'm scared of everything especially you And that leads me to my second thing I need to talk about You were a monster and a devil But I highly doubt That you're only to blame for how you behaved Society has a horrible way Of making you believe you owe everything To towering men screaming obscenities Like "Baby can't you see? I'm being flattering I bet you'd be nicer lying next to me" And they talk with their fist and lie through their teeth I wish you could have known how much you meant to me But I had to leave for my sanity I wish you could have known how much you meant to me But I talk with my fists and lie through my teeth I wish you could have known how much you meant to me But I had to leave for my sanity I wish you could have known how much you meant to me What's your favorite liquor? Is it cheaper in bulk? We'll buy as many bottles as we need to talk Openly, please speak freely Get whats left off our chest finally Because I talk with my fists and lie through my teeth I wish you could have known how much you meant to me But I had to leave for my sanity I wish you could have known how much you meant to me
8.
Sidewalk 03:04
Sometimes when I drive home from work I find myself wishing that my car would swerve Into the deep, deep ditch on the side of the road To see if anyone noticed that I didn't make it home And it's thoughts like these that make me think, "Why do I live my life so lazily?" I'm gaining weight and losing speed And blaming it on alcohol and TV But who's consuming these things? Who's letting these things devour me It's me, it's myself It's all my fault, all my fault But it doesn't have to be One day I was walking My head the lowest of lows Only watching the way my shoes kiss the road As a car sped by, almost taking my life And there was not a single speck of remorse to find But I've learned to keep on the side of the street Where the sunshine and the sidewalk meet Though my head still hangs down Eyes to the ground Whether the weather calls for clear skies or clouds But I refuse to reminisce I refuse to miss The good ol' days will remain tomorrow and today
9.
A mismatched anatomy Nothing feels right for me I could take a knife across dotted lines But would that solve anything? Because everything would still make me anxious Everything would still make me jealous Everything would still make me nervous There's bugs in my bed Give me another drink to kill the Thoughts in my head And put me to sleep I just want to sleep, so give me another drink Please put me to sleep, because I don't want to think Because everything would still make me anxious Everything would still make me jealous Everything would still make me nervous Now all this unwanted flesh is growing numb Born a mistake and proving it since '91 So I'll spend the rest of this semester Writing songs about feeling lost Falling asleep with the TV on Waking up at 4am To reruns repeating since I was a kid Where the dialogues have stayed the same But the meaning has completely changed It's funny how life works that way

credits

released April 26, 2018

all songs written and performed by Sawyer Camden
recorded/mixed by Alex Morton
mastered by Jesse Cannon
artwork by Greer Roberts and Sawyer Camden

vocals, guitar, bass, keys - Sawyer Camden
drums - Alex Morton

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Warrington Richmond, Virginia

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